Feelin' Blue, Seein' Red
by crystal-gem-jessie
Summary: Shiro is missing, morale is low, and Keith has just revealed that he was chosen to be the next leader of the Paladins. Lance, having a hard time with all of this, questions his worth and usefulness to the group. Langst. One-Shot.


**Feelin' Blue, Seein' Red**

 **AN:** Hey, friends! Welcome to my first Voltron fic ft. Langst. I love my blue boy.

* * *

The castle was quiet. There was no Pidge tinkering with some castle hardware. No Hunk joyously baking space cookies. No sounds of Keith training at the simulator. And no Shiro…no Shiro doing anything, because Shiro was gone, and all the happiness gone with him.

Lance, sitting in his room, looked at his own Bayard. He should have done something. He should have seen something. But, no, he was too concerned with himself to have realized that the Galra had kidnapped their leader. He knew he shouldn't be blaming himself, but he couldn't help it. It just always felt like it was his fault.

 _Maybe, if I was just a little bit stronger_ , he thought. His chest ached. He felt like Shiro had died. For all Lance knew, he might have.

Lance shook the thought out of his head. No, Shiro was fine. It was going to be fine.

As Lance was lost in thought, Allura sent out a telecommunication to all Paladins.

"Paladins, please meet me at the Command Deck for a meeting," said Allura via the monitor. Lance sighed and headed towards the Command Deck. He bumped into Hunk and Pidge on the way. They all acknowledged each other with sad, small smiles and walked in silence.

Allura, Keith, and Coran were waiting for them at the Command Deck, but it was obvious that the room had been silent before the later three even entered.

Allura, in a brave attempt to lighten the heavy mood surrounding all of them, tried to give Hunk, Lance, and Pidge an amiable greeting.

"Hello, you three! Thank you for getting here so fast" Allura said, perhaps a little too excitedly. All three did their best to show they appreciated the gesture, but gloom was still unmistakably hanging over them.

"So, what are we meeting about?" Hunk asked.

"Well…" Allura started, sounding unsure of herself. Keith smiled at her and Coran gave her a thumb's up. She continued, "I know we've all had a very hard time dealing with Shiro's disappearance and the fact that our searches have yielded no results, but I think it's time we get back out there!"

"'Get back out there'?" Pidge asked, confused.

"Y-yes! As Paladins, you have a duty to the Universe and you must fulfill that duty even if you're…ah, well, one Paladin short" Coran said, visibly nervous.

"Wait, are you saying you want to stop searching for Shiro?!" Lance asked.

"No! Of course not! We just…have to get back to work cleaning up the mess Zarkon made" Keith said. Lance glared at him.

"We also thought that if we visit other planets we might be able to get some intel that would lead us to Shiro. We're not giving up, we're just trying a new tactic" Allura said.

"I…guess that makes sense, but Shiro has to be our number one priority!" Pidge said, getting worked up. Pidge took Shiro's disappearance the hardest.

Hunk sighed.

"I'm on board, but we can't form Voltron with just the four of us and if we don't have Voltron…" Hunk trailed off as his imagination got the better of him. He began sweating profusely.

"Hunk has a point. Our lions are strong on their own, but if we get into big trouble we won't be able to properly defend ourselves without Voltron" Pidge said.

"Well, we've thought of a solution to that too!" Allura said, and Lance could tell she was nervous.

"What?" Lance asked.

Coran and Keith looked at each other with nervous looks.

"Um, well, you see-" Allura began, but Keith put a hand on her shoulder.

"I'll tell them," he said and Lance eyed the hand that lingered a little too long on Allura's shoulder.

"Tell us what?" Pidge asked.

"Before Shiro disappeared, he asked me to lead the team and be the head of Voltron if anything ever happened to him. Well, something happened to him and I'm going to follow through with his wishes" Keith said, looking at his hands and then looking up at the other Paladins.

"Wait, what?" Lance asked. Shiro asked Keith to lead? Lance felt like he had been kicked in the stomach.

"You're gonna pilot the Black Lion?" Hunk asked.

"Shiro didn't say anything about this to us!" Lance said, his voice raising. Allura and Coran tensed.

"Lance, Shiro did speak of this to me. I'm sure he just kept it a secret from you all because he didn't want to lower your morale. Shiro trusts you all very much" Allura said.

"Yeah, just not as much as he trusts you and Keith," Lance said, properly angry now.

"Lance!" Keith said.

"Why didn't you talk about this with us?" Lance asked. Lance saw Hunk and Pidge look to Keith with the same question in their eyes and he felt comradery between them.

"We're talking about it now," Keith said.

"It's been _weeks_ ," Lance said.

"We _wanted_ to Lance, but I wanted to keep searching before we made any sort of official announcement. We wanted to give you time to process" Allura said.

Lance didn't have a response to that. Still, his anger didn't subside.

"Okay, _fine_. So, Keith is the new Black Lion. What about the Red Lion? Red won't let just anyone pilot him" Pidge said.

"Well, I could certainly give it a go-" Coran started.

"NO!" the rest of them said in unison.

"After all the love and support I show you all" Coran said with crocodile tears in his eyes.

"We're still trying to figure that out, Pidge, but we're thinking of bringing on another team member. Just until we get Shiro back!" Allura said.

"But who?" Hunk asked.

"We were hoping you guys might have some ideas," Keith said. This rubbed Lance the wrong way.

 _Trying to butter us up by asking our opinion_ , Lance thought, still upset by the turn of events.

Pidge and Hunk shrugged as Allura looked at the three of them expectedly. She was greeted with silence.

"How about you all take some time to think it over. Don't worry. We'll figure this out!" Allura said.

"Yeah, we will," Keith said. He then put his attention on the group, "Look, I know this isn't ideal. No one wants Shiro back more than me, but the best thing for us to do right now is to get stronger, so that when we find Shiro—and we _will_ find him—we'll get him back safely. I need you guys to do that. Are you with me?"

Allura was looking at him, Lance noticed, with a soft, sweet expression.

 _Of course, she is_ , Lance thought. A new wave of anger hit him.

Then Hunk and Pidge looked at each other and then at Lance. He could tell Hunk and Pidge were on board, so he shoved his anger down.

"I'm with ya, buddy" Hunk said with a big grin.

"Me too!" Pidge followed.

Keith looked at Lance. Lance wondered if he was nervous about his answer. Lance sighed.

"Of course, I am," he said and Keith smiled.

"Thanks, you guys, it means a lot," Keith said, the second half of his sentence directed right at Lance.

"Yeah, yeah don't get too mushy on us. Is that all? I wanna catch some Z's" Lance said.

"Yeah, that's it" Keith replied, and the other Paladins shuffled off.

The three of them walked in silence back to their rooms, all lost in deep thought.

Lance was relieved when he got back to his room. He jumped onto his bed, face-down, and clenched the pillow lying underneath his face.

 _Of course, Shiro would pick Keith. Obviously, he would choose Keith_ , Lance thought. Lance was, he reminded himself, always in Keith's shadow.

Lance flipped himself on his back and placed an arm over his forehead.

 _Keith's shadow, huh?_ He asked himself. How was he in Keith's shadow? He was nowhere near as talented of a pilot as him. Lance would never be caught dead admitting that, but he knew it to be true. Keith was better at hand-to-hand combat as well. Lance wracked his brain for _something_ that he was better at than Keith but came up empty.

Pidge was a brilliant engineer and computer specialist.

Hunk was a great mechanic and an even better cook.

And Keith was…Keith.

What was Lance?

 _The weakest link_ , he thought and he sighed. It wasn't like him to be this hard on himself, but he couldn't help it after today. If he was honest, he knew his show of arrogance was an act. It had always been an act: a defense mechanism to keep him from wallowing in despair at his own incompetence.

Lance felt his chest tighten. He felt useless. Utterly useless.

 _The only reason I'm even on this team is because they need the body_ , he thought. With Shiro gone, this was truer than ever.

Then, Lance shot up suddenly. What was he doing feeling sorry for himself? Shiro was _gone_. If Lance was useless, then he needed to _stop_ being useless so he could help get Shiro back. Shiro was his hero, after all.

Lance changed into his Paladin uniform and marched down to the Training Simulator with Bayard in hand.

* * *

Getting the Training Simulator to do what he wanted was harder than expected. The interface was complex and none of the settings seemed good for long-range shooting. He decided on a setting that allowed him to fight a few robots. If he couldn't practice long-range shooting, then short-range and close-combat it was.

The simulator started with just one robot. Lance took it out with ease. Then, the simulator jumped to three. This also was not much of a challenge. The simulator then threw five robots at him and he began to get tired. By the time he was facing ten, they had completely overwhelmed him and the simulation ended with a judgmental voice saying "Failure. Would you like to try again?"

"No!" Lance barked at it. He had been forced to the floor by his enemies, so he picked himself back up. He winced as he realized he had fallen very hard on his backside. He rubbed the area.

"My butt" he lamented.

"Lance?"

"Ah!" Lance exclaimed, jumping out of his skin. He looked around for the voice and found Pidge looking down on him from the observation deck.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"What are _you_ doing sneaking up on me?!" Lance asked, his nerves still shaken from her surprise greeting.

"Sorry, I just…I couldn't sleep so I decided to take a walk and heard someone in the training simulator" she said.

"Hold on, I'll be up in a sec" Lance said as he made his way up to the observation deck. When he got inside, he took off his helmet and sat on a bench in the back of the room.

"Why can't you sleep?" he asked her.

"I haven't been able to for a couple weeks…it's no big deal" she said. She quickly handed Lance a towel, "here, you're sweating".

"Oh, thanks," he said, taking it, but aware she was changing the subject, "you're worried about Shiro, huh?"

"Well, yeah. I've been doing my best to adjust the Altean tracking devices, but nothing is helping. We have nothing to go on and if we have nothing to go on, that means I can't calculate his most likely location. I can't make something out of nothing. So, essentially, I'm useless" she said, and Lance heard her throat catch. He stood up and put an arm on her shoulder.

"You're _not_ useless, Pidge. You're, like, the smartest person I know" Lance said, surprised she felt that way about herself.

"What does it matter how smart I am, if I can't find the people most important to me?" she asked and tears gathered at her lids.

"Pidge, we'll find them! It's just not gonna happen in a day, okay? We're gonna investigate other planets, just like Keith and Allura said, and then we'll have _something_ to go from, and then you're gonna use that huge brain of yours to math our way back to Shiro!" Lance said.

For a few beats, Pidge was silent. Lance was worried he said something wrong, but then she turned to him with tear-soaked smile and laughed.

"Thanks, Lance"

"Anytime," he said with a smile as he released her shoulder.

Pidge grabbed another training deck towel and wiped her eyes. After she calmed down, she looked back at Lance.

"What about you? Why are you training in the middle of the night?" she asked, then added: "You never train".

"I train!" Lance said.

Pidge raised an eyebrow at him. Lance sighed.

"I just…thought it would be a good idea to, y'know, work on my skills, even though I'm already super skilled, but there's always room for improvement so-" Lance rambled. Pidge interrupted him.

"You're worried about Shiro too," Pidge said. Lance looked away from her.

"Of course, I am," he said and his grip tightened on his Bayard, "I wasn't able to help him before, but maybe, maybe if I train harder I can help him now"

Pidge went silent. After a beat, she began typing furiously on the simulator keyboard.

"Pidge? What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm reprogramming the training simulator to accommodate for long-range shooting practice. That's what you want to focus on right? I've manipulated the system so that you can shoot holograms of targets that appear far away. As your level advances, the environment will shift to mimic different scenarios, so when the time comes, you'll be ready for anything" she said.

"Pidge! You're amazing!" Lance gave her a quick hug, grabbed his helmet, and ran back down to the simulator, "Let's give this baby a test run!"

Pidge obliged, albeit with a slightly pink face.

"Level: One" the simulator chimed. Then, the targets, blue diamond-shaped holograms, lined up against the back wall. Only five showed up at first. He took them out with ease. As he leveled up, the diamonds varied in size, distance, and location. Sometimes the simulator would time him and he had to hit every target before time ran out. Other times, the targets would move.

After a good two hours of this, Pidge spoke over the intercom.

"Good job, Lance. I think you're getting better! We should head to bed, though. It's late"

"Okay!" Lance said, feeling fatigued. He met Pidge back at the observation deck and they made their way back to their rooms.

And, for the first time in weeks, Lance and Pidge slept soundly.

* * *

In the following weeks, the team strategized and looked for information about Shiro at various planets. They continued to come up empty, but Keith did his best to keep morale high. He reminded them all that "this was going to take time" and they "weren't going to get results in a day".

Lance and Pidge found themselves at the training simulator every night to deal with their disappointment. Pidge was constantly coming up with new ways to challenge Lance and Lance was always working on overcoming them.

It helped. Pidge felt like she was doing something and Lance felt like he was getting stronger.

One night, Pidge decided to leave earlier than usual after installing some levels utilizing zero gravity environments. Lance was zooming around the simulator, shooting targets, when the gravity suddenly came back on. Lance fell to the floor with a _**thud**_!

"Ow! My butt" he said with tears in his eyes as he stroked the tender area.

"Lance! Get up here!" said a voice over the intercom. To Lance's chagrin, it was Keith's voice. Lance growled.

"Hey! What's the big idea with turning the gravity back on? You trying to kill me?!" Lance asked.

"You're fine. Just get up here" Keith replied.

Lance begrudgingly obeyed.

"Stupid Keith…turning on the gravity…" he mumbled, ascending the stairs.

Keith sat in the chair in front of the simulator controls and looked at Lance with his usual sour expression.

"So, this is what you and Pidge have been up to," Keith said.

"Yeah, so what?" Lance asked, shrugging.

"I'm…impressed"

"Um, excuse me? Care to repeat that?"

"You heard me"

"Oh no, no, no, I did _not_ hear you and I'm probably gonna need you to say it five more times to make sure I _really_ heard you," Lance said. Keith groaned and stood up.

"Look, Lance, I came here because I need to talk to you about something important. You gonna be an adult about this, or what?" Keith asked.

Lance threw off his helmet and put his hands on his hips.

"Fine. What's up?" he asked. Keith sighed.

"Look, I meant it when I said I was impressed, okay? I've never seen you take this kind of initiative before and it looks like your aim has really improved"

This surprised Lance. Had Keith ever complimented him before? He felt his face flush. Wait, why was his face flushing? Why did a compliment from Keith mean this much to him?

"Oh, thanks…Keith" Lance said, scratching the back of his head.

"Don't mention it," Keith said, looking away.

"Um, so is that all you wanted to tell me?" Lance asked.

"No, it's not. Look, Allura and I have been talking about what to do about Red Lion. We don't think bringing an outsider in to pilot him is a good idea" Keith said.

"So…what? You want Coran or Allura to pilot Red?" Lance asked.

"No, Coran and Allura _are_ outsiders. I want a Paladin to pilot Red" Keith said.

"Hunk or Pidge? Do you think Red would even accept them?" Lance asked.

"NO!" Keith said in a burst of frustration, "I don't want Hunk or Pidge, I want _you_ "

Lance blinked. For some reason, the thought never occurred to him that he would be considered to pilot the Red Lion. The entire idea seemed ridiculous.

"But…I'm the Blue Paladin," Lance said.

"So? I was the Red Paladin and now I'm the Black one"

"Yeah, but-but-but-I…Blue is _my_ Lion" Lance sputtered. The thought of parting with Blue made him queasy. Keith sighed.

"I know you and your Lion are close. I was close to Red too, but it's only until Shiro comes back, okay? It's not permanent"

"But…what makes you think Red will even accept me? Blue only did because he's the easiest one to tame" Lance said, speaking an insecurity of his that had been sleeping in the back of his mind.

"What? You don't think you can do it?" Keith asked, surprised.

"I…no. No, Red's not gonna want me, not after…not after _you_ " Lance said, looking at the ground.

"Lance…"

"Sorry, maybe ask Pidge. She's really starting to become a good pilot and—"

"No! No, the Red Lion is the right arm of Voltron. That means the Red Paladin is the Black Paladin's, right-hand man. I want you to be second-in-command, Lance" Keith said, defiantly.

Lance shook his head.

"Why?"

"Do I really got to spell this out for you? Fine! Out of the Paladins, you're our best pilot next to me, you can keep your cool in battle, you're not afraid to challenge me, you're really brave, and I think you have a lot potential to become an even better fighter, okay? Is that good enough? Or do you need me to stroke your ego even more?" Keith asked, looking embarrassed.

Normally, Lance would have made fun of him and told him to keep going, but he couldn't. He felt a rush of emotion for his rival and comrade.

 _He really means it, doesn't he?_ Lance asked himself.

"Okay," he said, and Keith snapped his head to look back at him.

"What? Really? You will?" Keith asked.

"I'll try, but what if the Red Lion won't take me?" Lance asked, still not completely confident. To this, Keith smiled.

"He will. Don't forget, I know Red better than anyone" Keith said and Lance smiled too.

"Whatever you say, boss"

* * *

The next day, Lance decided to "talk" with Blue Lion. He felt bad just leaving him and he felt like Blue deserved to know what was happening. It would probably make it easier on whoever they brought on to take his place too.

Lance's stomach dropped. A part of him hated the idea of switching Lions. He loved Blue and he loved fighting with Blue. Thinking of him with another pilot made Lance anxious. Blue Lion was _his_ , no one else's.

When he got to the hangar and saw his big, blue friend, the reality of what he was about to do hit him even harder. He sighed and walked towards the force field surrounding his Lion, then knocked twice.

"Knock, knock!" he said and Blue put down his force field.

"Hey, buddy! Wanna let me in?" Lance asked and Blue complied. He lowered his head and opened his mouth.

Lance went inside and sat in his seat. He held onto the handles that he had become so familiar with in the past months. He took a deep breath in.

"Hey, buddy. I gotta talk to you about something" Lance said. Blue must have caught the sad tone in Lance's voice because he purred supportively.

"Shiro's gone missing and we're real worried. We've been searching for him, but we can't find him. That's why Keith is gonna pilot the Black Lion, instead of the Red Lion. That means the Red Lion won't have a Paladin and you know how Red gets! He's super picky"

Blue then showed Lance a memory of Red being thrown aside by a big, pink-feathered monster as a joke and Lance laughed.

"Ha ha ha, oh man, you kill me, buddy," Lance said between giggles, but then his happy expression faded, "That's why telling you this is so hard. Keith wants me to be pilot the Red Lion until Shiro is back. I don't know how long that will be, but once we get Shiro back, I'll come back to you Blue"

Blue made a sad, low rumble sound and sent Lance the memory of their first meeting. The memory showed him knocking on the force field, but there was an excited energy about the memory like Blue was thinking "Yes! Him! I like him!" when he first saw Lance.

"It was love at first sight for me too, buddy," Lance said and he blinked back tears.

* * *

The walk to the Red Lion's hangar was long. Lance felt his every footstep reverberate loudly into his ears. This was it. He was going to prove himself to the Red Lion. Yep, he was going to do it. He definitely was.

Lance took in a big breath and exhaled. Could he really do this? Every insecurity he ever had came flooding into his head at once.

 _You're not a very good pilot, you're the weakest out of your teammates, Blue probably won't even want you back after this, you're gonna disappoint Keith and you'll never find Shiro_ , he thought and he felt his heart begin to race.

 _You've got this, you've got this, you've got this_ , he thought, trying to push away all the ugly feelings he had about himself away from his mind.

He kept up his mantra until he reached the Red Lion's hangar and saw the beast looking down at him. He gulped.

The red force field surrounded the Lion as he quietly sat on the hangar floor. Lance found himself not breathing and immediately inhaled.

Red was smaller than Blue, but he looked just as powerful. He also gave off a different aura than Blue. Blue had a happy, excited energy, while Red's was prickly and kinetic. It made Lance even more nervous than he already was.

 _Fake it until you make it_ , he thought and he stepped forward.

"Hey, Red! It's me, Lance. You might remember me, I'm the incredible Paladin that pilots Blue Lion when we form Voltron. I'm in the leg right below you, ring any bells?" Lance asked.

He was greeted with silence. He coughed.

"Well, I'm sure Keith has told you all about our predicament with Shiro going missing and all, soooooo…"

The Red Lion was unmoved.

"I know this is probably really weird for you and all, it's weird for me too, but what do you say we be partners and help find Shiro?" Lance asked.

Still, the Red Lion remained as a statue.

Lance walked closer and knocked on the force field.

"Please?" he asked. Nothing. He sighed.

"Look, Red, I know your last Paladin was Keith, and I'll level with ya, buddy, I'm not gonna be as good of a pilot as him. He's a crazy good pilot and I'm just okay. I'm not as good as him in a lot of ways, but…" he trailed off, keeping a hand on the force field. How could he get this Lion to understand?

"But I promise to get better! I'm training every day now and I promise I'll become a Paladin you can be proud of, so please, Red, give me a shot! Let's help Keith find Shiro together and protect the universe! What do you say, Red?" Lance asked.

The Red Lion did not move.

Lance let out a sad sigh.

"Okay, I get it. You need some time, but I'll be back tomorrow! And the next day and the next day and the next day! I won't stop until you let me in, Red!" Lance said, pointing a triumphant finger up at the Lion.

Lance took another look at the Red Lion through the red force field. He put his hands in his jean pockets, turned around, and headed to the exit.

Then, from behind him, he heard machinery shifting. Lance looked over his shoulder towards the Red Lion's direction.

To his astonishment, the Red Lion had removed his force field and his mouth was now open to allow Lance entrance.

Lance's eyes grew wide and his heart skipped a beat. Was this real? Had the Red Lion really accepted him? There was only one way to find out. He ran as fast as he could to the Lion, taking huge strides as he got to the beast's ramp-mouth.

He stopped when he saw the empty Paladin chair waiting for him. He took a deep breath in and sat down.

Red definitely felt different from Blue. The cockpit was smaller and warmer, but he would get used to it.

"Thanks, Red. You won't regret it" Lance said and Red made an approving rumble.

"How about you and I get to know each other a little better, bud?" Lance asked and Red responded by standing on all fours.

"Alright!" Lance said and contacted Coran via the telecommuter.

"Hello? Why, Lance! What can I do for y-" Coran started, but then suddenly gasped, "Lance! Are you in the Red Lion?! Allura! Keith!"

Allura and Keith rushed to Coran's screen. Lance put on his most dashing smile.

"Hey, guys," he said with a wink.

"Lance! You did it! Oh, I knew you could do it! Well done!" Allura said excitedly.

"You really did it, huh," Keith said, sporting a small smile.

"Was there ever any doubt?" Lance asked, still grinning confidently. Keith allowed himself a chuckle.

"Not really. Take good care of him, Lance" Keith said.

"I will," Lance said and Keith nodded, "Hey, Coran can you open the hangar doors? Red and I have some bonding to do".

"Why, yes! Yes, of course!" Coran said and the hangar doors opened to show the big playground known as space.

"See you guys later!" Lance said as he turned off the telecommunication system, "You ready, buddy?"

The Red Lion growled in approval.

"Then let's GO!" Lance said, thrusting the handles forward.

Red took a huge, running leap into space and Lance let out a whooping holler as his new Lion dashed around the galaxy.

"You know what, Red? I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship"

—END—

* * *

 **AN:** There you have it! My sweet blue boy getting some character development. Here's to hoping he gets some in Season 3.

So, before I started writing this fic, I had no idea Lance piloted the Red Lion in earlier versions of Voltron, but now I'm positive he's gonna end up the Red Paladin at some point. Also, Lance has anxiety, fight me.

So, I tried to keep this ship-free, but it came out a little Klance-y, but also a little Kallura-y, with a pinch of Pance. I don't ship anyone in Voltron, but please feel free to ship whoever you want in this fic haha.

Thank you so much for reading! Please leave a review or comment, if you can. Getting feedback helps my motivation to write even more! And if you want to scream about nerdy stuff with me, you can follow my Tumblr: thunder-dor.

Until next time!

Xoxo


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